I miss you so much too, but every time I write to you I get so depressed. I miss you and everyone so much, I just am so ugh right now. I do have some big news though. Well, maybe not that big. Anyways, my dad came with me to drop me off for college. The day he left, and I was totally alone in a college where I knew noone in a city/state where I have no idea about where anything is or how to get to it, I got so depressed. I didn't think I'd miss home.....well, news flash, I miss it terribly. I know it's hard there and all, but it doesn't seem as hard as here. Anyways, that day, I went for a walk to call my mom and haley and ty. The second my mom answered, I just burst out crying like for a half- hour, I'm talking full fledged tears and gasping and broken breathing. I felt so lame I mean like so lame, but so alone. I thought I new what that was at one point, but now I think i've gotten closer to what I think it feels like. On top of that, I kept up the world's best moment of fake composure during that phone call, and she didn't even suspect that I was crying. It sounds impossible, and i guess it kind of was but, I don't know. It felt so good to just cry, I mean, it's been 13 years since these eyes of mine have decided to get damp a bit. It was such this feeling that everything, all the emotions and pain that had been bottled up unable to escape, just took that one moment to come crashing out at once. It's been so healthy for me though. I'm still so depressed about missing my family, but I think it will pass. You'd be so proud, i almost burst out crying like everyday so far after that one release. I don't know what it is, but now crying is like second nature now, it's amazing and sad simultaneously, but ya know. I miss you tons and even more than that, and I send my love and hugs and tears to you ever so ardently.

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here's a hug for you.^_^